The Aspiring Graduate

As I write this post, Damini is at dance class after which she usually sleeps over at my cousin’s house close to her class. This is how she has spent every Wednesday and Thursday evening since October. While I have been busy indulging in a six-month bout of laziness in posting, some amazing things have been happening in her life.

Damini and The Graduates

It began last May when Vijayta [her sister] was graduating. The proud family of mother, father and, Damini went to Boston to be with her for the ceremonious occasion. While we celebrated Vijayta’s achievement, Damini stumbled upon a cache of aspirations. She soaked it all in: Vijayta and her friends in their bright red graduation robes and caps, being called up to the stage to receive their diplomas, the cheering families, the ritualistic throwing of the caps in the air, the hugging and screaming undergraduates posing for crazy photographs. She announced to us that she was going to college as well. And she and her current school friends would wear graduation robes and we would watch her and cheer her on, “Just like Vijayta.”

Then she saw how Vijayta was living in her own apartment with her friends. They cooked and cleaned all by themselves, and had friends over all the time. She made a second significant announcement: “ I am going to stay with my friends, and papa, amma and Vijayta come visit me and we cook for you.”

The Chef at Work

After we returned home she went to see a performance that her cousin Sakshi was in as part of her dance class. This was a showcase for what had been learnt over the last few months complete with glittery costumes. New goal: Damini wanted to be in a performance…in a similar costume. She wanted to join the class so that she could be in one and she plagued us everyday. Daily calls were made to my cousin, Sakshi’s mum, to get it fixed and finally she was enrolled!

One weekend, she was walking around the house as usual, routine-less and therefore bored, so we decided to start her on cooking. Nothing gourmet, just some instant noodles which are admittedly of dubious nutrition value, and probably even detrimental to health. But she loves them and is allowed a treat every Sunday, besides which they are a great place to start learning the rudiments of cooking. So she learnt how to turn the stove on and off, to choose the right pot for cooking, and how to measure out one and a half cups of water. She used the scissors to cut open the packet, waited for the water to boil and learnt how to recognize when it was boiling, added ingredients to the water in sequence without spilling all over the stove, stirred the pot, and learnt to recognize when it was all done and ready to eat.

She was so blown away by this achievement that she decided she would cook for us all by herself thereafter. She even drew up a menu. Not just that, she was ready to “stay all by herself with the dogs, make their food and take them for their walks”. And for a week after, she was with me every morning and evening in the kitchen, making dosai, pouring idlis, stirring and cooking.

Damini's guide to making Maggi Noodles: Part I A video posted by Vijayta Narang (@narangatan) on Jan 4, 2015 at 6:46am PST

Damini's guide to the art of Maggi making: Part II A video posted by Vijayta Narang (@narangatan) on Jan 4, 2015 at 7:00am PST

Somehow, this combination of experiences has made her take charge of her time, her activities and her entertainment. At the beginning of every week, she calls either my cousin Archana or my sister-in-law Bharti and fixes her weekly sleepover after her dance class. She is very even-handed in bestowing the pleasure of hosting her on these two willing [and at times, helpless] people. She also tells them what she would like to eat when she is with them. Come Wednesday, she packs her bag without any assistance, and gets dropped off after school at the apartment building where they both happen to live. For those two days she goes to school from there and is back home only on Friday after school. She has also made friends in her dance class, and all on her own steam.

The friends she wants to graduate and live with

I’m sure she has no idea what exactly it means to be in college or its practical use. What she sees the glory that comes with it. While she may or may not actually ever get to college, it has changed the way she views her life. She has started picking up aspirations for herself from their lives of the people around her. Whether she achieves all of them or not in the long run is of no significance, what matters is that she has something to look forward to and that she is doing it all on her own. She is creating a future beyond the next birthday party! Who knows what that could lead to?

And me, I got to witness the amazing process of a person discovering the concept of the ‘future’.

Now, every Sunday, whoever is present for dinner gest homemade instant noodles, and we have a dance performance to look forward to in March, glittering costumes and all!